Alchemy of Intimacy

Relationships beyond Judgement

Intimacy is really about ‘in to me see’… When we really see and allow what actually is to be, honouring what is, instead of trying to make it into something we think it should be then, or something we would feel more comfortable with, we create space for relationships beyond judgement. When we have sufficent allowance for who we actually be (as opposed to who we think we should be or would like to be) and when we can allow the ‘others’ in our life to be who they truly be without judging them or wishing they were different then we create a spaciousness that is almost magical in the potential possibilities that it opens up. When we are really ‘seen’ and we can actually see another as they actually are with no judgement, just gratitude and appreciation for who they be the space opens up between us in a way that invites ease and joy. “I see you”

There are requirements for intimacy, or conditions, I see them as being like the conditions for creating a healthy soil where plants may flourish. If we want to create intimacy then the elements required are:

  • Honouring
  • Trust
  • Allowance
  • Gratitude
  • Vulnerability

If we are not capable of honouring ourself and who we truly be, and standing for ourself, then what is often created looks like abandonment or rejection by others… If we are not willing to be vulnerable then we have closed the door to intimacy as we are not allowing others to see us as we truly are. It takes courage to be vulnerable, to ask for what we need, to let ourself be seen as we actually are… I work with Marshall Rosenburg’s principles for communicating in ways that enbable the heart to be open…whenever we feel coerced or criticised we contract and so do others….we close out heart in order to protect ourself, no one wants to feel obliged to do something out of guilt or judged for the way they do things….we are asll designed (by nature) diferently and have different ways of working and many have a tendency to assume that because something works for them it will work for others…. I use also the tools of Access Conscious for creating more ease in communicating. If we want to be authentically ourselves and to allow others to be themselves then we have to allow everything and judge nothing….simple, not always easy due to conditioning or trying to make our world fit how we ‘think’ it should look.

What would it take to be in total allowance of you and everyone around you?

What would it take to create relationships that work for you?